So...this post will be quite different from the one I wrote earlier this week. But now it's back to life. I made my big announcement; I posted some alternative views of Scriptures having to do with it. Now I'm just going back to being me, thinking about the things I think about, doing the things I do, and trying to understand life and God better.
And this week, Lent starts. I just realized it a little while ago. So I looked up some mass times at a local Catholic church on Wednesday (might as well kick it off right) and put some thought into how I might observe it this year. I'm not Catholic, so I've never observed it very strictly. But I learn a little more about it and what it means each year, and each year I try to do something for it. This year I'm going to try a little harder.
I'm going to take something up. Besides looking at the daily Lectio Divina readings on my Android app, I am also going to make it a point to intentionally clean something every day. I'm kind-of a slob. And I have the sort of personality that allows me to "overlook" untidiness that isn't directly affecting me at that moment. So I'm going to work on that.
I'm going to lay something down. And by that, I mean I'm going to get up. I'm a third-shifter, and sometimes I get into an almost-"normal" groove of "regular" sleeping and waking times. But here lately it feels like I'm sleeping more than I'm waking, and not getting much of anything done. So I'm going to make it a point to be up by a certain time each day. (Unless I get in bed unusually late or something - I'm not going to be legalistic about it. Just more disciplined.) It will give me more time to focus on practical things (like cleaning something and playing with my puppy and paying bills and stuff like that) as well as spiritual things. (I woke up this afternoon with an intense desire to find some solitude and just pray. I need more Jesus in my life right now. I think managing my time better will allow me to get back on track with that.
And here's a biggie: I'm going to observe the practice of not eating meat on Fridays. I think that is integral to the "preparation" part of Lent, looking in anticipation to the Friday of the Cross. I want to make it a point to study the Cross this season, and what it means to me in my life right now.
Here's my prayer for the moment and the upcoming liturgical season:
You know this has been a week of revealing to others where my heart is, and it has upset many people who care about me, who think I am wrong. You know what? Maybe I am. I don't think so, but I also want to remain open to Your Spirit to lead me in the way of Truth. You know my heart, even if others doubt it. I want to please You. I love you, and I desire to love You and my neighbors more. Please, whether I am right or wrong, please lead me. Don't ever leave me. Help me to do and be better. I love You. I trust You and Your grace. Thank You for peace.